Thursday, October 13, 2011

31 Days of PINK {Day 13}

Before we get started, I think I need to vent awhile...I hope you don't mind!

Tomorrow {or today, because I write these the night before}, is a very BIG day for me. I am rejoining the workforce. It's been exactly two years since I was laid off {while I was pregnant for Preston}. Ryan and I decided it would be more economical for us if we avoided daycare costs and I stayed home with the baby. My educational background is in early childhood development and preschool teachers do not get compensated well in our area. After daycare expenses, I was only going to bring home $47/week! Gasp! Soon after Preston was born, I started my first Etsy Shop. That was somewhat successful, and I gained a lot of business off Etsy too, but it was never enough to support our entire family!

I find myself conflicted tonight. On one hand, I am VERY grateful to finally have a job, because this mortgage needs to be paid! I am also excited to be working in the kitchen design department at Lowe's. I think it's going to greatly benefit my design career, give me a host of knowledge and experience and be somewhat fulfilling. So far, they seem like a GREAT company to work for. Really.

Here's where the conflict comes in. I am not worried about leaving Preston, because he's going to be with my mom, and I know he will be ok, but I'm angry! I'm angry at Ryan for putting me in this financial mess of a situation. I'm angry at him for backing me into a corner and forcing me to HAVE to get a YESTERDAY! I'm angry that I have to miss out on milestones with Preston that I otherwise wouldn't have missed. I'm angry that Preston has to deal with the massive amount of changes that are happening around him lately. I'm just angry...

We were supposed to go to court for our custody, child support and spousal support hearing today {Wednesday}, but my lawyer canceled it and moved our case to circuit court. I originally filed for custody in juvenile court, before I hired him or knew what I was doing, and because a divorce cannot be granted in juvenile court, he thought it best to move everything to circuit court. The next possible date is two more weeks away. Even though I am very anxious for Ryan to be required to help fulfill his financial obligations here, I agreed that it was best to move the hearing. Ryan was MAD about it. He didn't speak too kindly to me on the phone today, and it's just been an emotionally rough day...

However, I did try to make this day completely about Preston, since it was officially our last day together before I went back to work. I showered him in attention, and affection, and took him to the library for HOURS. He loved every minute of it too, and so did I! It's amazing how the touch of your child's hand can calm all of your worries. I have such a hard time understanding why his dad suddenly seems so busy that he can't even bring himself to call to check on him or tell him good night...

Those of you who have been there, PLEASE, tell me the hurt goes away and this all gets just a little bit easier!

Alright...Enough of the walk down Dreary Lane! Let's get PINK inspired...

Well, isn't THAT the life?!

I've been kind of obsessed with these ribbon cakes lately. "They" say they're somewhat easy to do, but I have yet to try it...

Pretty and easy! ANYONE could make these, because the sugar and pearl candies will hide any flaws. Just buy a box mix and some cute liners, and you're all set! I challenge you...TRY THIS!

Tomorrow, we'll explore a few PINK Christmas spaces. Yep! We are approaching that time of year ladies, rather we want to admit it or not!


  1. It will get better but I must say for that baby's sake you two must put away the anger and resentment because Preston will sense it and it will affect his behavior and emotional well being. you cant force Ryan to be the kind of dad you want him to be...he has to find his way as well. Take it from an experienced voice, this will all be for the best and you will see that at some point but if you hang on to anger and resentment it will color everything you do. I am sure you are aware but dont really want to hear that it takes two to make a marriage work and it takes two to destroy it even though you may not see it that way right now. Hang in there, trust your lawyer and move forward. Good luck on the job and you are so lucky to have your mom nearby

  2. love your hair. hang on. chin up.

    thinking of you...