Friday, March 30, 2012

A little Update...

It's been awhile since I've let you in on what's going on with the "Big D", so I thought I'd bring you up to speed. A lot has happened.

In January, we went to court in a mad rush, because "he" decided he was moving to Wisconsin for a job. All of a sudden, it was imperative to get before a judge and get an agreement. Hallelujah! That's what I had been pushing for since SEPTEMBER, but whatever's convenient for him...

Over night, his story changed. He went from claiming a visitation schedule of every other weekend and one night each week wasn't enough {even though he never called and made an effort to see him about once a month} to claiming a move to Wisconsin was "better" for Preston. This way he could "start a college fund" for him and "pay his health insurance". I guess quality face-to-face time is overrated...

He was VERY agreeable. He gave me the house and full custody of Preston...if I would take on all the debt. I wasn't thrilled with this "settlement", but I was getting the better end of the stick {my son}! He also agreed to give me the entire tax refund and pay one year of spousal support. While doing the math, I was still absorbing A LOT financially, but it was SOMETHING, so I agreed. I just wanted it to be over, and I wanted to make sure I could afford to support Preston on my own. Keeping the house was also very important to me, because I didn't want to disrupt this little boy's life anymore!

With this new found income, I was able to immediately get off assistance and step forward, and I was feeling fantastic. He was to begin paying on February 1st, and I had until June 1st to refinance the house in my name.

 Immediately, I began the refinancing process. I was able to turn our fifteen year mortgage into a twenty year and combine one existing loan. This ended up saving me about $350 a month! I was on cloud nine...

Then, January 30th came {moving day}, and we never heard from him. He didn't even try to say good-bye to his baby! I was devastated. Heartbroken. Confused. ANGRY! But those words don't even sum up my real feelings... 

Then, February 1st came, but the money didn't. With a little texting pressure, I was able to get payment from him by the 15th, and I was still optimistic that he would hold up his end of the bargain. He called Preston on February 17th {Preston's 2nd Birthday} and again on the 18th. I asked him to please begin calling on a regular basis so Preston can count on it and look forward to it. He said he fully planned on doing so...

Then, March 1st and the 5th and the 15th came and went, and nothing. No money. No phone calls. Nothing.

As of right now, he refuses to pay me, so back to court we go. He informed me {via text} that he won't be paying me until he's forced to. This time around, my lawyer is able to ask for him to pay my court fees, because he's not following through on the original agreement.

As of April 1st, he will be over $1,400 behind, and I'm feeling the pressure. I do not know why he has to make everything SO difficult on me. I don't understand why he must fight me on everything and why he's refusing to follow through with the agreement he signed! I don't understand why he can't even {at the VERY LEAST} pick up the phone and talk to his son. I don't have the energy to babysit him and go back through this legal process, but I also don't really have a choice.

I'm stressed. I get no parental support from him and adjusting to this single parent thing has run a toll on me. Some days, I want to climb in a hole and not come out, but I can't, and I won't...I promise you that!

2 comments:

  1. Sending lots of Prayers and Positive Vibes your way! I'm so sorry you and your lil guy are having to go through this.

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  2. My heart goes out to you Crystal. You are such a strong woman, and I really admire your strength, will and determination through this process. I can't begin to imagine what it's been like for you, but know and trust you and P will definately end up way further ahead once it's all said and done.

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