Life Changes

I have really struggled with the idea of writing this post, but then a few things came to mind. First of all, I did nothing wrong and have nothing to hide. Second, writing has been a therapy for me since I can remember and has always helped me work out my thoughts. Third, I need the truth to come out, so I can move toward the next step and breathe a little easier.

Ryan and I are getting a divorce. There. I said it. Without completely bashing him, I will state the facts. Last October, I discovered he had never been faithful to me. Never. In a round of lie after lie and only admitting to the facts as I found them, I was left devastated. He was very remorseful, and we eventually decided to work on our marriage. Because I didn't take our vows lightly. Because I married him with every intention of it lasting forever. Because I loved him, and until the day I discovered the lies, I had truly thanked God for him every day. Because I had never taken him or our family for granted. Ever. I knew our marriage, and our son, deserved a fighting chance.

In July, I discovered he was back to the same activity. This time, he flat out refused counseling, and I told him it would be the only chance our marriage had of survival. This thing was bigger than us, and he needed help. This lead me into a week of pure hell. I was stressed. I was heart broken. I was scared.

In the end, I decided I couldn't do it anymore. He was very cold, and he showed little remorse this time. I knew I couldn't fight for our marriage on my own, and I shouldn't have to after everything he had done. As soon as I said it was over, he seemed relieved. This hurt almost more than anything. We decided that he would stay on the couch until I found a job, because up to this point, I had been a stay at home mom.

His mom passed away a week later, and he never even called to tell me. I read that our son's grandmother had died on Facebook...

The night he returned home, from a week away in Michigan for the funeral, I found out that he had been going out to the bar with friends and had begun communicating with a woman. As I was confronting him with this, she called his phone, at one in the morning. Of course, he lied about who it was at first. When he admitted it was her, I told him to get out. I couldn't live under the same roof with a man who didn't even have enough respect for me to wait to start pursuing relationships until I had a job and he was out of our home. He was angry. He threw out a lot of threats regarding our son, and he left...

The last two weeks have been the hardest of my entire life. I have gone through a lot in the past, but nothing compares to this. Nothing. Divorce, especially on these terms, is something I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. I was forced to go to social services and ask for aid, because he initially left me with $128.11 and all of the bills. I have been forced to meet with lawyers to discover my rights and what the next steps are. I have been forced to file my son's name with the court system and petition for custody of my own child. That, my friends, is something I never thought I would ever have to do. That was the hardest day of my life. I cried the entire time I was at the court house.

I will be keeping the house, as it stands right now, so I hope to continue this blog in a slightly different direction. From now on, I can be known as the "Divorced Decorator" {giggle. giggle. tear.}, and I'll take you on the journey of a single mother on a mission to maintain a beautiful home for her and her son. We'll just be on an even tighter budget now, and you might find some boring posts {like how to change a furnace filter}, but please bare with me.

I am surviving. I am breathing, and I am taking it one day at a time. I will be alright...

Preston's Toddler Room: Week Two

I haven't made a tremendous amount of progress in Preston's palace, but I did rearrange the shelf that used to be above his crib {his changing station is now below it}...

Don't you just love those little monkeys hanging off my childhood book?! Anyway, I also played with the accessories on top of his bookshelf....

You might be noticing a slight Eric Carle presence in the space. This former preschool teaching momma can't help herself where he is involved! With the emphasis on vintage sock monkeys, I wanted to tone that down and turn it into an emphasis on vintage toys. "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" might be all the rage now {Pottery Barn Kids has an adorable new line dedicated to the fuzzy character!}, but it is a classic children's story that was originally published in 1969-totally vintage!

I also got these little cuties in the mail...

You can purchase your own set on Etsy at Pretty Little Studio. Here's a hint as to where they're going!

Keep a look out for updates. I have a few more items that are currently heading our way!

Enjoy your weekend. I'll be throwing my mom's 50th Birthday party tomorrow. Think vintage, farm, mason jars, outside meal and lavender....pictures Monday!

Minor Changes and a Gift Wrap Idea

I went thrifting today! Yay! It isn't often that I feel compelled to tote my toddler around to potential break-happy zones, but I bit the bullet and did it. He was...alright...and I did score a few treasures.

This vintage white mirror was one of them. Only $1.49!

Here's the Before...

and another Before...

I'm constantly changing this thing! Anyway, while the books {from the first and second pictures} have yet to grow on me, which do you prefer? Brown or white mirror? I'd love to hear what you think!

While we're here, I'd love to share another quick budget-friendly idea! This is a card alternative. Everyone knows the price of greeting cards keeps climbing {and can frankly be out of control}, so awhile ago I started using these instead!

Library cards and pockets are available at my local teacher supply store. I pick them up there for literally pennies {I think it's like $.03/card and maybe $.05/pocket}! I simply write a quick note on the card, slip it into the pocket and attach it to my package. They come in a wide variety of colors, so they work great for almost any occasion! I love using them for baby shower gifts {especially when the person receiving the gift is a teacher}.

Think of them as the new "library card"! Yep! I'm a cheese ball...